Transcript of EP67: 8 Truths & Realisations That Changed My Life & Created My Dream Business

Welcome to the Mothers of Enterprise podcast. I'm your host, Susie Olivier, mama of three, military wife and successful serial entrepreneur of 15 years, now turned business mentor and mindset coach for women who want it all, minus the hustle and the overwhelm, this show is for the woman who wants to build a wildly successful, high profit, heart centred business and thriving lifestyle, all while raising a family. It's time to harness your feminine superpowers and join me as we dive into all things mindset, business strategy, wealth creation and motherhood to support you in building the business and life of your dreams. Welcome to the Mothers of Enterprise podcast.

Hello beautiful lady. I am feeling all the happiness today. We are post Florida trip Gabriella is over jet lag. Who knew a jet lag baby was such a thing to deal with? I'm not going to lie, I wasn't really expecting that to be such a struggle. But since being back home, back in her own environment, back in her beautifully, completely, totally blacked out room with her sound machine for her sacred white noise, and putting in the amazing tips and support that I got from wonderful Emma Roberts, the sleep coach who was on last week's podcast episode, she's back sleeping and it's a beautiful day in the UK today. It's actual a proper spring day.

I've just had my lunch in the garden and now I get to be here and share some words of wisdom, some golden nuggets about business and life and manifestation with you wonderful souls. So before I jump in, I want to say that I am currently signing new one one clients. I have shared before, but I managed to sweet talk our beautiful nanny into giving me an extra day a week in the office. Gabrielle is getting that much older now. She's a toddler. Dare I say it, my new-born baby, who was born yesterday, is now a toddler and she's obviously also not feeding as often. So I do have the capacity to work a bit more.

And so with that, it's been a really exciting decision to take on some extra one on one clients because I was finding it a bit, I'll say sad, but I don't know if sad is the right word, but I found it quite kind of frustrating that I wasn't able to kind of help and support all the women that I wanted to. So I am very excited to say that I have opened my doors for one on one coaching. So if you are feeling the nudge, if you are looking at your business and going like, I know it can be so much more, I know it can feel so much better. I know it doesn't have to feel like this frustration and confusion and struggle and income going up and income going down, or maybe income never going up and it just hovers around mediocre to crap.

Please, please reach out to me, send me a DM over on Instagram. I will pop a link in the show notes to book a call with me and we can have a very relaxed chat about potentially what it might look like to work together if we both feel and think that it is a good fit. But now into a personal share. A personal share with lessons. It's kind of like a nice combination, like a conversational behind the scenes meets like hardcore lessons that I know you're going to find really valuable. And that is the eight truths and realizations that changed my life. Now, if you do follow me that closely on social media, don't worry, I have not got that kind of ego that I assume.

Everyone who listens to my podcast obviously consumes every piece of my social media content, not only consumes it, but remembers it. But early in the year, I shared what I'm talking about now as a social media post, and I've probably got the most traction out of a post that I've shared in a really long time. In fact, I still get the occasional DM about it. So I thought, why not bring it to the podcast and just talk a bit more about it, rather than kind of the most you can get out of text on a screen in a social media post. So these truths, these realizations have been born out of my very long career. Feels really long. As a serial entrepreneur, I've been building businesses from the ground up since 2008.

I have done it through my husband joining the Royal Air Force, through eight house moves, three children, deployments, all the usual struggles and struggles that happen in life. So these aren't like, you kind of see them on Instagram, don't you? Like very young, very new entrepreneurs telling you, like, these are the things which will unlock your success. And I'm just looking and going like, oh, sweetheart, you've got so much to learn. Not in a really annoying sort of patronizing way, maybe a little, but there's just so much that you go through when you are walking this road for a really long time.

And so these eight points I'm going to share with you in a second is really the amalgamation of all the biggest lessons that have created the biggest shifts in my journey as an entrepreneur and has really unlocked my experience from a financial perspective. Because obviously we are in business to make money and we love money. Money is beautiful. I've been without it. I've been with it. And I can tell you having money is fun, but also unlocked my enjoyment and unlocked the ease and the flow and the feelings side of it not being so pressurized. So without rambling on and telling you about it, I'm going to jump straight into number one, which for me is a big one. And that is success does not have to equal hard work.

In fact, for me, the more I choose joy and ease and flow and rest and just confidence and contentment, the more success I experience. And this one was hard af for me to get into my brain. I had the belief that success equals hard work so deeply ingrained in me that breaking free from it, and not only breaking free from it, but actually believing the opposite is better was just an alien concept. And so my beautiful coach had to work a really long, like a long time on this one with me. And I'm still a work in progress. But to kind of echo what I spoke about just a few minutes ago, it really has unlocked my enjoyment of business when I allow myself to think.

Actually, the more I look after myself and the more rested I am and the more I'm having fun and the more I do things that really light me up and fill me up and excite me, the more successful I'm going to be. I mean, doesn't that sound really good? Like, the more fun you have in the business, the more you enjoy what you do, the more successful you are going to be versus the more I work, the more I post, the more I email, the more I sell, the more I make, the more I create, the more I hustle, the more I push, the more successful I'll be. That doesn't even sound good to say. So, yeah, that was a really big realization and a truth if you choose it to be.

Now, remember, I think, is it Henry Ford that said, if you believe you can or believe you can't, you're right. Meaning whatever you believe to be true, that is what you're going to experience. And so I genuinely, for a long time, believe that success equals hard work. And I had success because I worked really freaking hard, too hard. And now I changed that belief. So now I believe that success equals joy and success equals fun, and success equals because I choose to have it, because I want it, because I desire it in a really beautiful way. And me doing the mindset work around that has meant that has become my truth. It has become a truth for me, not a would be nice. Can you imagine a note? This is what success is. And that has been a beautiful thing.

And that's something I would love to share with you. And I'd love for you to. Out of all the things I'm going to share, if you could walk away with that, I think it's going to be hugely powerful in you just learning to relax and take the pressure off and prioritizing what feels really good to you in your business. Because ultimately, and if you've listened to me for any amount of time, you have heard me say this hundreds of times, but ultimately, you feeling good in your business is actually the indicator of your success. And not only the indicator, but it's also the signal that you are going to be a success. So, ladies, success does not have to equal hard work. In fact, dare I say it, success can equal joy and ease and fun and all those beautiful things.

Okay, number two, failure is not failure. It is purely feedback. So learn the lessons, make the changes up, level your thinking, rework the strategy and beautiful soul, get back to it. I would also say on this, if failure does keep showing up, and I use failure sort of in some quotes there, if it does keep showing up, then consider that you are needing to learn something that you are just not learning. I've had things in my life, in my business where I've kept launching or I've kept selling or I've just kept going through the same patterns or the same traps that keep happening over and over again. And there's been a huge lesson that I've just been completely oblivious to that I've just been sweetly ignoring.

And so the same lesson, the same sort of perceived failure kept showing up until I freaking learned the lesson. I went, oh, I shouldn't be doing it like that. I shouldn't be thinking about it like that. I shouldn't be showing up for it like that. I shouldn't be feeling like this. Oh, I get it now that once I've learned the lesson, as if by some miraculous miracle, the failure, the thing that's causing the issue, suddenly kind of alleviates itself. So, yeah, that is my experience of failure. And when you see failure as feedback and not like the dead end, you're done, go get a job. It becomes a really empowering experience and it becomes, dare I say it, actually a positive experience because, okay, cool. I tried this thing. It did not work. I learned a ton of stuff from it.

Let me take all those lessons learned and apply that to the next thing that I'm going to do in my business or my life. And therefore you go into this new thing so much more informed and so much more prepared and equipped to make better decisions, to make better offers or programs or whatever is it you were doing without the risk of, dare I say, failing again. And then if you do fail again, that's okay, you've learned some more stuff. Pick yourself up and get back to it. Number three is my business gets to be the last on my priority list and still wildly successful. So for me, this is, again, a personal share. The roles I put above all else in my life are my roles as a wife and my role as a mother.

Then all my other titles can fall into a flexible order after that. Because I know that if I'm showing up for my marriage and for my children in the best way possible, on a soul level, on a deep internal, in my cells level, I feel whole, I feel fulfilled, I feel at peace, I feel happy. And so for me, realizing that this really is a realization for me, this isn't something I just automatically knew. I think on some really deep level, I knew it, but I just ignored it. Because I'm like, no, I'm hyper ambitious and I should work all the time. I should prioritize the business. Not even a think. I know I wasn't intentionally prioritizing the business over wifedom and mother dim, but it's happening accidentally because I believe that success equals hard work.

So I believed I had to put all my time and effort into the business because obviously the husband and kids aren't going anywhere. I mean, the husband could, but he loves me. Thankfully, I'm married to a very loving, very gracious man and a very supportive man who has stood by me for many years, got me now 1314 years of marriage, and has been with me through all these truths and realizations and is enjoying this current season of my life where I have prioritised him very much so, and prioritized our marriage. And you know what, ladies, those of you who are married, me doing that has actually benefited the business. Which is why this point says my business gets to be the last of my priority list and still wildly successful. I believe I am successful because I prioritize what matters.

Do I always get it right? Hell no. No one actually go ask my husband that because his answer will be very scary and very exposing. So yeah, I get it wrong sometimes. I really do. But he knows my intentions and he knows my heart is to prioritize him and our kids, our family, our life together. So when he starts seeing me swaying bit more into the business lovingly. He'll be the first one probably alongside my beautiful coach as well, to be like woman, refocus what's really important here and obviously then I will instantly realize there of my ways and scurry on back to where I want to be in life. But this has really unlocked my business, I feel, in recent years because it's allowed me just to show up in such a more deeply happy and fulfilled way.

Not just fulfilled in my work, because I love my work deeply love my work. I deeply love serving my clients. It is such a joy, it is such an honour. It is such a privilege. But ultimately, my marriage and my family are always going to be my number ones. They're always going to be the most important things in the whole world for me. So when my soul knows that I am fulfilling those roles to the best of my ability and I'm feeling really good in those roles, well, then my role in the business is elevated and therefore my results, my experience, my success in the business is elevated as well.

So that is a really big one that I would love for you to take away with you is allowing yourself to prioritise the business last and still believe that it can be very successful. Okay, number four is self-sabotage happens at every level of success. Self-mastery and self-development. Ladies are never, ever finished jobs. I am forever a work in progress and forever committed to showing up for that work daily. I had this weird thinking that as soon as I get to a certain level of success, as soon as I get to sort of a certain level of income, that the whole self-doubt and can I really do this and worthiness crap that we all have lurking in the back of our minds kind of will dissipate.

Because I'll have all this external evidence that I'm great and I'm an amazing and I'm successful and I'm wealthy and all those beautiful, happy things, and it's absolute BS. Absolute BS. Self-sabotage happens at every level of success. And in fact, every time you sort of enter a new level, you'll self-sabotage in the form of your gremlins coming out to play and being like, who are you to be doing this? And you can't maintain this and you're working too hard and your friends are going to resent you and you can't really keep this up. And all those BS things that come up will come in probably fresher with some new terms. Harder every time you increase. Now, I read a post recently which said something along the lines of like, self-sabotage doesn't exist.

It is just your subconscious brain trying to protect you. And I completely agree with it. But like, aka, that is self-sabotage. Your subconscious brain trying to protect you is your subconscious brain keeping you where you know, keeping you where it knows that you are safe, which is like current circumstances. And if you don't like your current circumstances, then you're going to want to improve yourself, you're going to want to earn more, you're going to want to grow your business, and if your brain is freaking out as you move into those new arenas, it's going to try and keep you where you're at. So, yeah, it is trying to keep you safe. That's exactly what we're trying to do.

But in the process of trying to keep you safe, it sabotages you because it tells you shouldn't be where you want to go or you shouldn't be doing those things. You are not clever enough, you're not pretty enough, you're not wise enough, you're not good enough, you're not whatever enough. And I'll keep you small. So, yes, completely agree with some posts flying around the self-sabotage doesn't exist. Sorry. No, I don't agree with it. But I agree with the fact that it is just kind of a positive mechanism inbuilt in our subconscious that it is our beautiful brains keeping us safe. So if you have seen this happen in the Instagram world of posts, give some context around it and hopefully it makes a bit more sense than just going, it doesn't exist.

It does, but it's just your poor brain trying to do a good thing. Okay, number five is earning a ton of money is fun, but earning that money whilst being of service to others is where the genuine soul level joy is. For me, serving and supporting others to achieve their version of greatness and step into their power as a woman who chooses to believe that she can have it all without doing it all, have to always get that bit in. Is genuine life changing from the point of view that my life and work feel better than I ever could have dreamt. Now, I have been in businesses where the goal is to make money. Now, obviously we are all in business to make money. Otherwise, honestly, why are we in business? But that's been like the driver. Like, who cares?

Not who cares what I'm putting out to the world, because that's just not who I am. But I'm thinking back to my I had an FBA business which is a fulfilled by Amazon business, where you find really kind of hot selling products on Amazon, and then you go and manufacture them yourself. You go and sort of private label them and you sell them as your own random brand. And so I did that for a good couple of years. It was very profitable, but it didn't feel good. I was putting more crap on Amazon. Does the world need more crap? Does Amazon need more stuff to sell? Probably not. And I sold all kinds of things, like piping nozzles for icing, like frosting a cake, kids place mats, glittery phone cases, yeah, books, all kinds of weird and wonderful things. And it was fun.

It really was. But there wasn't that feeling when you go to sleep at night and you're like, wow, I've done something great today. I've really helped someone today. I'm like, I've put more crap into the world today. And that didn't feel good. So for me, being in this business now, which earns me really beautiful money, I feel exceptionally well compensated for the work that I've put out to the world. But knowing that people's lives are changing, knowing that people's sort of trajectory of their family's future is changing, oh, my goodness, I can't tell you. In fact, it's making my eyes get all welled up. And now you can't see me, can only hear me.

But, yeah, it's one of the most beautiful experiences, beyond personal experiences, like having my children and getting married, knowing that my time in the day, in the week is serving others and serving others such a beautiful, deep way. It's just the most soul level, uplifting, energizing, fulfilling feeling I could have ever dreamt of. So, yeah, earning money is fun, but earning in a way that actually is of service to others is soul level joy and soul level gratitude. I feel extremely privileged to do what I do. Okay, number six is having a coach and supportive community is a non-negotiable. So I used to think that having a high level of support was just kind of nice to have.

But after coming up for three years now of working with the same one on one coach, I can honestly say that it is a no brainer and 1000% non-negotiable. I wouldn't be here right now recording this podcast episode in this business if I didn't have someone supporting me on all fronts and pulling me up on the poop when I'm completely unknowingly self-sabotaging or just making decisions that just aren't supportive of my intentions and maybe defaulting back into some old bad habits. So I've spoken about this before, but I would invest in courses, I would invest in masterminds, I would invest in networking groups, I would invest in mentors and coaches. I had some really bad experiences for some really bad coaches over the years, which kind of left me a bit like always.

No point me even thinking about investing in a coach because they're all a bunch of snake oil salesmen, they're all a bunch of charlatans. I am more experienced than all of them. I mean, I don't mean that in like a horrible, egotistical way, but for the most case, I was, I invested thousands in some programs and was just devastated when I got in there and realized that the coaches that were running the show were kind of cookie cutter coaches, as in they kind of knew one way to build a business based on their success or based on what their coach told them to do. And they didn't really genuinely understand business. And so that left a really sour taste in my mouth until eventually, with this business, I'm like, no, I need support. I need help.

And I hired well, after a lot of discovery calls, I hired my current coach. I often joked to her that if she could give me a lifelong contract, I would sign it. And yeah, it's a huge investment. It's the biggest monthly expense I have in my business. I started telling up how much I've paid in coaching and courses and support over the last three years of the day, and it was close to six figures. It was a lot of money, which made me feel slightly sick for about 5 seconds until I realized actually all the money that I have and all the money that I earn and all the success that I'm experiencing and have experienced wouldn't have happened without that investment. So I am all for spending money to make money.

But yeah, for me, having a coach is an absolute non-negotiable if I want to get to where I want to be in the most beautiful, easeful way possible. Okay, number seven is investing always feels scary af, but it's possible to move through the fear faster. So, as I've just said, I am always investing in myself and my business and I did this before I had the cash to do so, which is, oh my goodness, scary, nauseating, makes you want to faint and pass out all at the same time. But for me, the single decision to jump before I was ready ak invest before I actually had the cash has been the best and most powerful decision I have ever made to create my success and my high income.

When I agreed to work with my coach and I've shared the screenshot of my email to her like twice on social media the last few months. When I agreed to work with her, I earned 53 or 52 pounds that month and I agreed to her four figure a month fee and she takes 10% of income. So it was a huge commitment. I said to her, listen, I'm in. I'm working with you. Give me like three months to figure out how the hell I'm going to pay for this because right now I don't know how I'm going to pay for it. And I got scrappy. I really got scrappy. The husband and I had some really deep talks, long talks, and then I shared a post recently, probably back in February, sharing how my clients actually afford me.

Because people think like, oh, once my business gets to x amount a month, then I'll get a coach, then I'll get support. And it's absolute BS. Almost none of my clients, I went through all my clients in the last 18 months. Only one of them already had the business income to afford me. The rest of them found the money from weird and wonderful places. We're talking house sales, inheritance, borrowed from family, bank loans, business loans, interest free credit cards they sold, bonds, they sold cryptocurrencies. Yeah, they got really scrappy because they joined me on the realization that having support, having a high level of support is non-negotiable. And they figured out a way.

And still to this day, I will have a discovery call with the client and with a potential client and I'll get the email afterwards going, Suzy, I so desperately want to work with. I like completely see the value, but I just have no way of affording it. And I'm not one to do pressure tactics. I'm happy to talk about money objections, but if someone genuinely can't afford to work with me, it's absolutely fine. And I reply with a very supportive reply going, absolutely fine. We'll put a pin in this loop back again. Just want to put out there if anyone's listening going, why isn't she handling the money? Objections, I absolutely am. And obviously they come up in a phone call while talking through it in the email. I'll give them some points to consider around.

Like, you invest to make money, you don't make money to invest, but nine times out of ten an email will come back within sort of 48 hours going, okay, I've gotten over the fear I'm in. I'll find the money. I found the money. There are ways of where I can afford this. So for me, as someone who's been through that? Me deciding that I was worth investing in, me deciding that my dreams and my goals were worth investing in. Genuinely, hand on heart, was the single biggest, best decision that unlocked my success. Because the second after I sent that email, I remember going back into my inbox and I had someone going, hi, I hear you are working on some new coaching packages. I would love to hear about them. And that person signed.

And subsequently after that, I signed in five more than a space of like a week, and voila. Instantly, I was actually making enough money to afford working with my coach. And then shortly after that, I had hit my first ten k month. This was back in what, October 2020? And I genuinely believe it was an energetic shift that happened in my business because suddenly I was making decisions as the person I wanted to be. I was making decisions as the business owner I wanted to be. I was making decisions as the person who was earning the income I wanted to have, rather than making decisions as the kind of small, meek, mild version of myself that was currently existing in April 2020. So, yeah, that is a huge one for me. Investing always feels scary, but it is possible to move through the fear.

Okay, number eight is there is no one right way to run a business, but there is a way that's right for me and obviously for you listening, there's a way that's right for you. And I really believe that is true for everyone. It is so easy to feel pulled in 101 directions, especially with all these flash in the pan experts telling us this is how you scale and this is how you sell and this is how you structure your offers, et cetera.

But for me, allowing myself the gift to ignore all of it and create a business, my way to create offers, my way systems, my way strategies, my way tactics, my way, et cetera, that genuinely light me up and cater for my ideal dream life and cater for my ideal dream income was so freaking liberating and something that I absolutely adore helping my clients to realize and achieve, too.

When you realise that you can ignore everyone, when you realize that you can see all those ads in your timeline on your grid and wherever else the ads find us these days, saying like, this is how you sign your next five clients, and this is how you get to ten k months, this is how you get to six figure months, and this is how you grow your Facebook group, this is how you sign clients in the DMs and you can go, I'm sure they're really useful and I'm sure they're packed with value. But I'm going to do it my way. It is so freaking liberating. It feels so blooming good, like on a soul level, to trust yourself and trust that you know what you're doing.

So there is no one right way to run a business, but there is a way that is right for you. And it is your job to listen to your intuition, your job to follow your soul's calling, to feel those divine nudges and to work out what that way is. Because when you figure that out, that is when success comes so fast and so beautifully in a way that feels so good you can't even imagine. And that's that, ladies. Eight truths and realizations that changed my life. Number one, success does not have to equal hard work. In fact, the more we choose joy, ease, flow, rest, confidence, contentment, the more success you will experience. Failure is purely feedback. Learn the lessons, make the changes up, level your thinking, rework the strategy and get back to it.

However, if failure keeps showing up, then maybe, just maybe, God's trying to teach you a lesson that you were just not learning. Stop, assess and find the lesson. Okay, business gets to be the last on your priority list and still wildly successful. Number four, self-sabotage happens at every level of success. Number five, earning a ton of money is fun, but earning that money whilst being a service to others is where the genuine soul level joy is. Number six, having a coach and a supportive community is a non-negotiable. Number seven, investing always feels scary, but it's possible to move through the fear faster. And number eight, there's no one right way to run a business. But there is a way that's right for me and that's right for you.

So ladies, I hope, as I always, forever more say that you have found value. I hope you have found takeaways and aha. Moments. Please come over to Instagram at mothers of enterprise and let me know what your thoughts are. Any feedback? I love, love hearing from you. Also, if you want to snap up one of those one on one coaching spots and you want to work together for six months to create your ultimate dream business, consistent, beautiful, high income, please send me a DM again. I'll pop the link in the show notes to book a call with me and we can have a chat. Okay, love you. Thank you for listening. I will see you same time next week. You.

Thank you so much for joining me on this episode. If you know someone who'd love this podcast, I will be so grateful if you could share it with them because what the world needs more of are mothers stepping into their superpowers and creating amazing success because they're mothers and not in spite of it. If you've enjoyed this episode and found value in this podcast, which I really hope you have, please rate, review, and comment. I will be so grateful.

And as a thank you, we'll be selecting one reviewer each month who will receive a 1 hour business clinic intensive coaching session with me, worth over 500 pounds. Thank you again so much for joining me. I appreciate it more than I can say, and I'll be back with you soon in the next episode.